Dear One Tongue Johnny,

Thanks for showing me and Bitter Stevie how deep down we’re just the same.

We’re now locked into a loving embrace, and neither of us wants to be the first to let go!

Big Love,

Hug Club Duggie (formerly Angry Duggie)

xx

PS I’m all about the love now, so you know this is coming from a good place, but… your nickname doesn’t really pick out a distinguishing feature, does it? It’s a bit like ‘Normal-number-of-legs Sally’, or ‘Nose-on-the-front-of-the-face Bill’, or ‘Self-Identical Sam’.